It’s been nearly a month since the last time I did any sort of school work. Since then I’ve become a full-time patient, filling my days with physical therapy, rehab, appointments, etc. My body is thankful for the quasi-break but my mind is going a little haywire. 

My personality demands action. I’ve spent my life doing my best to anticipate the next move in life, to be as efficient as I can. It’s served me well in a lot of ways and allowed me to preempt quite a few challenges. I find myself in the last month having a hard time switching that off. I accumulated a large list of things to do when I had time, and now that many of those tasks have been finished in the last month I wake up and make my way to an empty desk..convinced that something must be done.

My dad mentioned the other day that I don’t need to move that fast anymore, at least not right now. He’s right for a number of reasons. Living with myositis, we hear the echo from our doctors that above all we need to reduce stress. Oftentimes, we’re guilty of creating our own monsters that only we can slay. Trying to find a balance between productivity and relaxation is my challenge for now, and one that I’ll look to master over the summer.

“Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop.” 

– Grey’s Anatomy